The Golden Bacheloretteseason 1 has come to an end, and its starJoan Vassos was so much more successful thanGolden Bachelorlead Gerry Turner that he could’ve learned some things from her. At the end of her season, Joan, a 61-year-old private school administrator from Rockville, Maryland, got engaged to Chock Chapple, a 60-year-old insurance executive from Wichita, Kansas. They seemed meant-to-be from the very first magical one-on-one date of the season in Disneyland all the way through to their romantic engagement in Bora Bora.
DuringThe Golden Bacheloretteseason 1,Joan seemed to be working hard not to repeat the mistakes that Gerry, a 72-year-old retired restaurateur from Hudson, Indiana, had madeduring hisGolden Bachelorseason. Gerry got engaged to Theresa Nist, a 70-year-old financial services professional from Shrewsbury, New Jersey. They were married shortly after in a live, televised event called the Golden Wedding. However, just three months later, Gerry and Theresa announced that they were getting divorced because they couldn’t decide where to live because neither one of them wanted to leave their family. Here are some lessons that Joan could’ve taught Gerry.
1Joan Was Honest About Her Past
Gerry Wasn’t Forthcoming About His Past Relationship
Before they became the leads of theGoldenfranchise shows, both Joan and Gerry experienced the tragic losses of their spouses. Joan lost her husband of 32 years, John, to pancreatic cancer in 2021, whileGerry spent 43 years with his wife, Toni, until she suddenly passed away due to a bacterial infection six years before his season was filmed. When Gerry’s season began,he was presented as an innocent widower who hadn’t dated much since he lost his wife.
However, it was soon revealed byThe Hollywood ReporterthatGerry had allegedly dated a woman for three yearsafter Toni died, and he’d even lived with her. He was accused of breaking up with her because she’d gained weight before his high school reunion. This came as quite a shock toBachelorNation, and led fans to believe that Gerry had misrepresented himself.
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On the other hand,Joan was an open book when it came to her discussions about her dating life after John’s passing and beforeThe Golden Bachelorette. In an interview withKatie Couric Media, she shared that she’d tried meeting people at weddings or bars, and also joined dating apps, which she didn’t like.
Joan revealed that she’d dated a decent amount beforeThe Golden Bachelor, but stopped when her grandchild was born. Also, when she was being considered forThe Golden Bachelor, she ceased dating so that she’d be available for Gerry.Joan being so forthcoming was refreshing because there were no surprises, which allowed viewers to trust her. Gerry should’ve done the same thing, but it seems thatThe Golden Bachelorcreated a persona for him that he had to fulfill.
2Joan Made It Clear That She Wouldn’t Leave Her Family
Gerry & Theresa Divorced Because They Couldn’t Decide Where To Live
BeforeThe Golden Bacheloretteeven began filming,Joan made it very clear that she’d never leave her family, including her four adult children, her three grandchildren who call her JoJo, her 92-year-old mother, and her mother-in-law (John’s mom).Golden Bachelorviewers already knew how devoted Joan was to her family when she left Gerry’s season early to return home to her daughter who was experiencing postpartum depression.
DuringThe Golden Bachelor, Gerry shared that he was very close with his two daughters and two granddaughters, but it didn’t seem as though he was unwilling to relocate. He also never mentioned his 92-year-old father on-camera, even though he was a big part of the reason that he didn’t want to move away from Indiana.If Gerry had been more honest about not wanting to leave Indiana, then his divorce most likely never would have happenedbecausehe and Theresa would’ve realized that they were incompatiblefrom the start.
By being realistic about her feelings,Joan was able to get engaged to Chock knowing exactly where they’d settle as a couple. They’ll both keep their homes in Maryland and Kansas, but they’re also apartment hunting in New York City, where they’ll live together part-time. It’s too late now, but Gerry could’ve learned from Joan and Chock’s sensible plan.
3Joan Confided In A Friend
Gerry Didn’t Have A Confidante
One of the worst aspects of all of theBachelorfranchise shows is how isolating they are. DuringThe Golden Bachelor,Gerry really only had host Jesse Palmer to confide in outside of the women, and, although Jesse is a kind and understanding man, at 45 years old at the time, he couldn’t really relate to Gerry’s feelings. It was refreshing to see Joan, who was struggling with so many emotions before her Fantasy Suite dates, receive a surprise visit from her good friend andGolden Bachelorco-star Nancy Hulkower.
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Nancy is also a widow, so she could relate to Joan’s feelings of guilt about dating after John’s death. She also helped Joan to work through her feelings about Pascal Ibgui’s self-elimination, which left Joan feeling unlovable and hopeless. However,seeing her friend and having the chance to speak to someone who knew and loved her gave Joan the strength to keep moving forward.
Nancy’s visit was a surprise created for Joan by the producers, but, if she could go back in time,she might’ve recommended that Gerry request a talk with someone close to him to help him on his journey. Sometimes the leads get caught up in the fantasy of the show, but their loved ones can always be counted on to pull them back down to Earth. Gerry needed that duringThe Golden Bachelorbecause he got carried away.
4Joan Set Boundaries For The Fantasy Suites
No One Really Knows What Happened In Gerry’s Fantasy Suites
DuringThe Golden BacheloretteFantasy Suite dates,Joan made it clear that she didn’t want anything physical to happen during them. Instead, she wanted to use the off-camera time to have deep conversations with her remaining three men–Chock, Guy Gansert, and Pascal (who self-eliminated before the overnight portion of the date). Not only did this allow Joan to form more meaningful connections, but it eliminated the angst felt by the winners of the show who have had to live with the knowledge that their new fiancée spent the night with someone else just days before their engagement.
Although no one really knowswhat happened during Gerry’s overnight Fantasy Suite dates, he did joke with Jesse about whether seniors still"knock boots.“However, even a harmless and funny comment led to speculation about what actually happened between Gerry and Leslie and Gerry and Theresa during the Fantasy Suite dates.Joan had the right idea by shutting down the rumors by eliminating the physical intimacypart of the dates completely.
5Joan Only Said ‘I Love You’ To One Man
Gerry Told Three Women That He Loved Them
DuringThe Golden Bachelorette,Joan made a conscious decision to reserve the words,“I love you,“for only her final choice. It was a refreshing change from leads who threw those three little words around carelessly, and then broke people’s hearts in the process. Although Chock was disappointed when Joan didn’t say,“I love you,“back to him during their final date, he could later have peace of mind knowing that he was the only person that she said it to during the season.
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However,Gerry made the classicBachelorfranchise mistake of telling more than one woman that he loved her. He even took it so far as to exchange"I love yous"with Faith Martin and kiss her in front of her family during her hometown date. He also said it to Leslie, and even told her that he thought that she was The One. If only Joan had been there to advise Gerry before he did these things, then perhaps Faith andLeslie’s hearts wouldn’t have been broken. Joan made the right choice by thinking with her head and her heart, and saving her"I love you"for only Chock.
6Joan Ended Things Early With Guy Gansert & Didn’t Give Him False Hope
Gerry Led Runner-Up Leslie Fhima On
After Joan’s finalGolden Bachelorettedate with Chock, she knew that her heart belonged to him, so,rather than lead Guy on, she said goodbye to him instead of introducing him to her family and going on a final date with him. This was such a wonderful change from past leads who seemed to be torn between their final two choices until the second before they got engaged. Joan didn’t give Guy false hope by putting him through meeting her family and going on a final date when she knew that she’d be saying goodbye to him in the end.
Unfortunately, Gerry’s last dates and family meetings with Theresa and Leslie left both women feeling as though he’d choose them.Gerry definitely led Leslie on, not only by telling her that he loved her and that she was The One, but by allowing her to meet his family. It’s unclear if Gerry knew at that point which woman he’d choose, but, if he knew it was Theresa, thenhe should’ve let Leslie go.
7Joan Didn’t Force The Engagement
Gerry Seemed To Want To Get Engaged
BeforeThe Golden Bachelorettebegan filming, Joan stated that she’d be open to getting engaged, butshe’d also be just as happy leaving the show in a relationship without a proposal. This was a great change from other leads who seemed so desperate for a ring that they settled for whoever was willing to get down on one knee, rather than the person who was actually right for them.
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DuringThe Golden Bachelor,Gerry seemed to want to get engaged to end the season on a high note. Whether it was pressure from the producers, or his own expectations, he proposed to Theresa perhaps before he was really ready to make such a big commitment. The fact that Joan didn’t have her heart set on an engagement allowed her to make decisions based on who was really right for her, rather than who was willing at that very moment to put a ring on it. Gerry should’ve slowed down, not gotten caught up in the moment, and left the showin a relationship with Theresa, but not engaged.
8Joan Didn’t Jump Into Marriage
Gerry & Theresa’s Golden Wedding Happened Too Quickly
Although Joan and Chock got engaged at the end ofThe Golden Bacheloretteseason 1,there doesn’t seem to be another Golden Wedding on the horizon, at least not yet. DuringThe Golden Bachelorseason 1 finale, Gerry and Theresa announced that they didn’t want to wait to get married, and they hoped to do it as quickly as possible, which led to the Golden Wedding.
However, in November 2024, Theresa appeared onThe Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast, and revealed that she felt pressured to get married because ABC offered to pay for her and Gerry’s wedding, but with a time constraint. However,Theresa shared that she and Gerry had faithand hope that they were eventually going to be married, so they accepted the network’s offer. It’s good to see that Joan either wasn’t pressured into a wedding, or didn’t agree to the terms because she said that, although she’s open to a TV wedding,she wants to spend time with Chock in the real world before they get married.
This is what Gerry and Theresa should’ve done because Theresa hinted on the podcast that there was more to their divorce than their disagreement about where to live. She said that they didn’t have enough time to get to know each other before getting married. Joan is doing the smart thing, and slowing things down with Chock before even considering getting married.Gerry could’ve learned a thing or two from Joan’s good balance of thinking with her head and her heart.
As the first-ever Golden Bachelor, Gerry had a hard road to navigate because he didn’t have a blueprint for it because he blazed the trail. Therefore, he should be given some grace for the many mistakes that he made along the way. However, Joan definitely did a better job in the lead role than he did, and it’s a shame that she wasn’t the first star so that he could’ve learned from her. Whatever happens next,hopefully both Joan and Gerry will continue to lead healthy and happy lives filled with lots of love.
The Golden Bacheloretteis available to stream on Hulu.
Sources:The Hollywood Reporter,Katie Couric Media,The Golden Bachelorette/Instagram,Bachelor Nation/YouTube,Bachelor Nation on ABC/YouTube,Bachelor Nation/YouTube,Bachelor Nation/YouTube,The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast
The Golden Bachelorette
Cast
The Golden Bachelorette: This reality series offers one woman in her later years the opportunity to find love, as a group of seasoned men compete for her affection. Participants bring diverse romantic histories, seeking a meaningful connection and a chance to build a promising future together.
